Carlos Santana, born Carlos Santana, grew up on the streets of Elizabeth, New Jersey in the mid 1950s. His mother was a cobbler and his father was a cobbler's assistant. Carlos had a happy musicless childhood. He enjoyed watching The Goldbergs, a little known sitcom about a Jewish couple from the Bronx, and playing Jai Alai. Carlos grew up to be a very successful manager of a Wolworths in Bergenfield and married his childhood sweet heart, Beatrice Manglove. Carlos had it all, until one fateful night...
On Oct 22nd, 1986, Carlos was struck by lightning while teaching his child the art of Jai Alai and fell into a deep coma. Back then doctors were unaware of what comas were so there was very little hope for his survival. Beatrice stayed by Carlos' side during the coma, or as the doctors called it the "demon life pause", but after a year she decided it was time to move on. Carlos was left all alone.
When Carlos awoke from his devil sleep in 1998 he had no recollection of his previous life. The doctors gave him a bag lunch and sent him on his way. Carlos roamed the streets of New Jersey looking for a meaning to his life to no avail. Things were looking completely hopeless until one night when he stumbled upon a vagabond playing the guitar. Carlos was stunned by this melliflous noise coming out of the guitar, or as Carlos called it, the giant stringed shoe horn. Carlos politely asked the stinky man if he could try and play the shoe horn and the odoriferous fellow obliged...
What came from Carlos' fingertips that Autumn night was nothing short of a miracle. A man with no previous musical talent, who was sheltered from music all his life, made the most beautiful latin rock fusion in all the land...
What happened next was even more nothing short of a miracle. As the orgasmic guitar solos ejaculated out of the base of the rancid, rank, reeking homeless fellow's guitar Matchbox Twenty's Rob Thomas, The Calling's Alex Band and Michelle Branch's Michelle Branch walked by.. The three music megastars, who were coming back from their weekly IHOP brunch, immediately bickered over who would work with Carlos first. Bickering turned scuffling and scuffling turned into fisticuffs until Carlos broke them up. Carlos told the three that there was enough Carlos to go around and that his newly discovered gift should be shared. The rest was history...
On Oct 22nd, 1986, Carlos was struck by lightning while teaching his child the art of Jai Alai and fell into a deep coma. Back then doctors were unaware of what comas were so there was very little hope for his survival. Beatrice stayed by Carlos' side during the coma, or as the doctors called it the "demon life pause", but after a year she decided it was time to move on. Carlos was left all alone.
When Carlos awoke from his devil sleep in 1998 he had no recollection of his previous life. The doctors gave him a bag lunch and sent him on his way. Carlos roamed the streets of New Jersey looking for a meaning to his life to no avail. Things were looking completely hopeless until one night when he stumbled upon a vagabond playing the guitar. Carlos was stunned by this melliflous noise coming out of the guitar, or as Carlos called it, the giant stringed shoe horn. Carlos politely asked the stinky man if he could try and play the shoe horn and the odoriferous fellow obliged...
What came from Carlos' fingertips that Autumn night was nothing short of a miracle. A man with no previous musical talent, who was sheltered from music all his life, made the most beautiful latin rock fusion in all the land...
What happened next was even more nothing short of a miracle. As the orgasmic guitar solos ejaculated out of the base of the rancid, rank, reeking homeless fellow's guitar Matchbox Twenty's Rob Thomas, The Calling's Alex Band and Michelle Branch's Michelle Branch walked by.. The three music megastars, who were coming back from their weekly IHOP brunch, immediately bickered over who would work with Carlos first. Bickering turned scuffling and scuffling turned into fisticuffs until Carlos broke them up. Carlos told the three that there was enough Carlos to go around and that his newly discovered gift should be shared. The rest was history...
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