This week I finally decided to get a library card. I feel that it is about time I start illuminating my mind and filling it pertinent information, and there seem like no better place to accomplish this then the New York Public Library.
The Beverly Cleary books are to the right
However, in order to make room for all this intellectual infomacion I need to kick the trivial slop that is currently squatting in the attic of my brain and doing heroin on the dirty mattresses of my cerebral cortex. So today I will be booting these space fillers out of my noggin and onto the streets of the internet...
Ah, much better. My brian is now an empty vessel, ready to be filled with historical facts, philosophical concepts... who am I kidding, I'm just going to end up renting movies for free and gawking at all the old creepy people who frequent that smelly book hut.
- The princess from The Princess and the Pea was either suffering from a tumor on her back or she was a big old c*nt. I suspect both.
- Stealing goat cheese is funny.
- The Manhattan Cardiology Center uses the same font on their sign as the Scientology Celebrity Center. I no longer trust cardiologists.
- classiclit.com is a website about classic literature. When buying the domain name I don't think they realized that people might think it's a site where you can view pictures of clitorises with top hats and monicals.
- If the cover of a movie or book has a girl sitting against a wall then it's probably one of those dumb stories about overcoming adversity.
- It would be funny is Jeff Van Vonderen, of Intervention fame, was named Van Jeff Joffderen
- I know you can be a Jack of all trades, but can you be a Jack of some trades?
- If an apple a day will keep the doctor away, will two apples a day make me super human hump machine?
- I think Chelsea Clinton should get back with Parliament Funkadelic
- If you date Bilbo Baggins expect him to come with some emotional Bilbo baggage. He went through a lot.
- Diamonds are forever, pizza is for right now
Ah, much better. My brian is now an empty vessel, ready to be filled with historical facts, philosophical concepts... who am I kidding, I'm just going to end up renting movies for free and gawking at all the old creepy people who frequent that smelly book hut.
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